January 2015 Ups and Downs by Tim

Marriage is the central relationship in our culture.... Over the last six years Havah and I have had to face some of our most challenging days.  Though we went through deep sorrow and loss we gained so much wisdom and understanding of life and each other.  If I could zoom in on one significant lesson I would call it “Ups & Downs”.  The scripture that comes to my mind for this lesson is in Genesis when God creates Eve and gives Adam a “helper”.  The interesting thing about this scripture is the flip side.  Yes, Eve was a helper to Adam, but on the flip side Adam was also a helper to Eve.  In God’s amazing creativity and wisdom He made man and woman alike but completely unique.  They were better together because when one needed help the other was their to fill the gap. I found deep meaning in this scripture as we walked through pain and grieving together as helpers.  A funny thing I noticed about grieving is that men and women, though they go through the same steps of the grieving process, they hit the different steps at different times.  When Havah and I lost our baby at 39 weeks due to complications in the pregnancy; I was originally concerned with keeping the family functioning and sadness had no place in my schedule.  As the months went on I would see Havah having more emotionally “up” days and some normalcy was returning to our family.  It wasn't until then did I begin to feel sadness and sorrow for our loss.  I hit some deep pockets where I lost all motivation for the things I always loved to do.  I felt like my faith got into the ring with Mike Tyson when he was in his prime.  In this depression and hurt I found my need for a helper. It is here that I began to see God’s amazing workmanship in how He created men and women.  You see when she was hitting her major downs I was feeling stable and could be a helper to her through the pain.  Then, when she was feeling more stable I hit some of my major downs and she was there to be my helper.  We started recognizing  each others ups and downs and acting accordingly.  When I saw her heading into a “down” time I would move into helper mode where I would do more helpful things around the house, offer words of comfort and support, and give extra attention to the kids so she could have time for herself.  Sure enough she would do the same for me and it was so much help while the pain was so real. From this experience we now have this tool in our relationship toolbox.  We may not be going through such big ups & downs now but the same sensitivity to how the other is doing is still there.  There is something just life changing about being a helper, and having a helper in life’s painful downs has been life saving for me. Now for those times when you both hit a down don’t worry.  For our Lord has sent the ultimate helper…the Spirit of Christ- the Holy Spirit.  I have found this to be helpful: cry together, share your hurt and pain with each other and God, then say something funny so you can both laugh-cry really hard.   Written by Pastor Tim This is an amazing book! At The Father's House we highly recommend this book for anyone looking to deepen and grow the relationships in their life. "Keeping your love on. It’s a hard thing to do. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do. But if you want to build healthy relationships with God and others, learning to keep your love on is non–negotiable. Adults and children alike thrive in healthy relationships where it is safe to love and be loved, to know and be known. Yet for many, relationships are anything but safe, loving, or intimate. They are defined by anxiety, manipulation, control, and conflict. The reason is that most people have never been trained to be powerful enough to keep their love on in the face of mistakes, pain, and fear." (Click to purchase on Amazon) Share Forward

November 19, 2014

Little Miss Sunshine hanging out with Jazzy

Thank you so much for the concern, prayers, texts, and calls following up on last weekd court date. 

So... there's not really any new information. Nobody has passed on any information about what took place at the court hearing but Little Miss is still over here for now, that's good. There are so many things that are being handled so poorly in this case and I can't get into it here but please pray that the best interest of Little Miss Sunshine is finally addressed. She is negatively responding to every visit. She'll have stomach issues for a week after and is very scared and withdrawn. It's so hard to see this precious little gal be subjected to all of this. My sister's family is having a hard time these past few weeks but this song is the anthem. My sister just heard it at a funeral for one of her dear friends from LQHS. 

Listen to this if you have something you can't understand going on in your life right now.

November 10 2014: Court Day

Well today's court day for Little Miss Sunshine. Today they are reevaluating where to go from here. For all I know it could be done with since court started at 8:30. Please please pray that the judge will be able to see what he needs to see through the tiny amount of documentation for this precious girls future and life. Her birth mom has checked off the boxes of most of the things that were required of her and believes that she's getting her daughter back this week but that would be a tragedy since she has not shown that she can safely care for her have any stability for her. We need a judge this morning like the Hebrew definition of judge that you can see in the picture. 

October 2014- Prayers Please

Hello people! Happy Friday. We are calling on our prayer team to lift up Little Miss Sunshine. Today the report gets turned in about her case. We are praying that it includes everything that has happened over the past seven months. We are praying that it has the right information to speak to the judge's heart as to what is best for Miss Sunshine. Please pray for the entire family as November's court date is quickly approaching. She has already been so traumatized through so many different situations and just pray that her heart and spirit will continue to be guarded as new decisions are made at next months court hearing as to her future. Thank you for your diligent prayers and sweet questions regarding this complicated situation. 

August 9, 2014 2 year Anniversary-From my sister

August 2014 Little Miss Sunshine is going camping!

A judge has ruled that she can go camping! Thank you Lord and thank you for all the prayers!!!

Spontaneous worship by Stephanie Frizzel- Louder! Sometimes you gotta tell your soul to sing, even when you don't feel a thing. You gotta song louder, louder!

August 2014 Prayers!

Long story short... Please pray that Miss Sunshine can go on the family camping trip next week. There is opposition to her going. Leaving her with random people to care for her would feel like another abandonment for her and not what is best. Please pray for favor, grace, understanding and for the best interest of this girl to be the focus of the ruling.