March 22, 2017 1,095 days later...

Written by Mama Havah

Tomorrow I am going to be blowing up everyone's newsfeed because tomorrow is the day we are finally closing this circle and making Laniyah our daughter officially!! It was exactly 3 years ago tomorrow when I got a phone call at 10:45pm that the police had an adorable 18 month old girl with nowhere to go. I wanted to go get her right then but they wouldn't let me because they didn't finish her paperwork. She had to sleep in the police station that night. That night I didn't sleep. My heart was broken, my mind was going crazy, and I was praying nonstop for my baby that I hadn't even met yet. She was already changing me, growing me and filling me with love and compassion.

Tim was out of town on the East Coast so when I called him at 1:45am (EST) he was a little worried but he quickly agreed that we needed to take her as well. There was school for the kids then next day but I didn't say anything to Kirah and Zeke in case there was a last-minute change. But at 9:30 am (which felt like the longest morning ever) a van pulled up with this sweet little girl sleeping inside. All she had was a pillowcase with a pair of dirty pajamas in a trash bag. She was wearing some random boy clothes that they found at the police station and had a $.99 store bottle and a pacifier. That is it! She didn't even have a name (baby girl doe) or a known birthday. She didn't even cry or make a peep. She literally didn't have anything. I signed just one paper and the driver left this little girl in my arms. She just hugged onto me and smiled. In a moment, my life changed forever.

My heart had a new lease on life. Remember my heart was filled with brokenness from the loss of my son just 19 months before. My little baby boy didn't make it home from the hospital. He was born still into my arms but full of life into the arms of Jesus. I thought I was recovering and doing well but suddenly I was filled with a new joy! It just bubbled up inside of me when I felt those little arms around my neck. Joy that I didn't even know was missing from my life was restored! I will never forget that moment in my life the moment Joy was restored to my heart. ❤

It has been a crazy road the last three years. Imagine getting to know a little girl who is 18 months and doesn't talk, is very particular and stubborn. She can't tell you what she likes to eat. She can't tell you if she's allergic to anything. She can't tell you anything! You just have to figure it out on your own! She didn't even have a mom or a dad we could ask questions to. The things we learned quickest were: she loves salt, she likes to throw food, she likes to stay up late, loves candy and styrofoam cups would make her go crazy because she wanted what was usually inside them! It didn’t matter if you're eating the same food as her, she wanted to sit on your lap and eat out of your bowl. Those particular things gave me little insights into her little life. She was used to going out to eat with her mom and sharing a meal from her mom’s lap. That realization made the whole situation so much more real, thinking what her life was before she came into mine.

After about a month with us she started parent visits. She did 8 months of visits with her bio mom. Those were some of the hardest days and nights of my life. She was very sick during that time I felt very attacked and constantly under a microscope for everything I did as a mom. But it was during this time that Laniyah and I developed the most real heart connection. We are connected at the soul and core of who we are. We have brought healing and love to each other. It is a bond that can never be broken. Tears have been cried. Prayers of been answered. Battles have been won and lost along the way. Lots of growth and healing has happened. I would do it all again in a second for my daughter. I am so happy that the state of California and the whole world is recognizing her as my official and legitimate daughter! 3 years to the exact day. 1,095 days since she changed our lives and we changed hers. We love you Little Miss Sunshine. Our baby doll!!!

Laniyah Joy Felker welcome to your forever family!!!