This is the title of a teaching my sister did at our small group to start the year. She said the Lord has something new for each of us this year. Ask him what that is. Is it a goal? Is it healing? Whatever that is seek the Lord and go for it into 2014.
Well, very new things are happening for this family.
Tim has recently stepped into the senior pastor position at our church The Father's House. This is an exciting time for the whole family but also brings new challenges with energy and time. Your prayers are appreciated for all of us (my hubby is the new Associate Pastor too).
There has been a lot of healing inside and out. I am very happy to say that Havah is completely off of her pain medication! She still has some weird pain and weakness and stiffness in her leg and foot. She has depressing days or weeks but the Lord carries her through each one. They don't call it the grieving process for nothing...
The family is about to be put on the list for foster to adopt for baby 0 to 3 through the county of Los Angeles. So the past few months have been full of rearranging the house, organizing, paperwork, training, praying, interviews, soul searching, baby proofing and waiting... They've been very prayerful in this whole entire process knowing that a child could be with them for a short time or forever. They are excited to the possibility of being able to love and minister to these kids. The weird thing is that Havah turned in the application 9 months ago!!!! So you can understand why she now feels like a mom in her 9th month of pregnancy eagerly awaiting her baby.
So it's my youngest baby's 1st birthday party today. We are so excited to celebrate him. He's such a joy and blessing to us. The weird thing is at this landmark I reflect on the loss of Elisha. I see an empty place and I re-feel moments of that whirlwind day when we almost lost Havah to heaven too. Not a day goes by that I'm not thanking The Lord that my #bfffb (best friend forever from birth) is here and doing great. I think about my pregnancy with baby J and I realize the guilt I felt. I didn't even feel like I could decorate his room till he was like 2 months old. I felt no motivation for it but just like God is, he took me to a level of healing one day & I became inspired to get it ready for him. That process of decorating and painting was a step in healing for me. Thanks for letting me write this, for reading it, praying for all of us, and helping me heal. That seems selfish since I didn't lose my son at 39 weeks and I day or almost die but I know I was traumatized too. In all this rambling I say thank you Lord for baby J and the healing you have brought us through his life!
I'm sure Tobreah could say something similar as she goes through the ups and downs emotionally of her first pregnancy. Thrilled but terrified at the same time that history will repeat itself like it can. But The Lord is in control and we sit in his loving hands because that's the only truly safe place to be.
-Kahanah
Big Sister, wife, mama, daughter, believer
Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.
Proverbs 21:21 ESV
I got this text from Tobreah after I posted the blog:
This is totally God's perfect timing that you wrote this. On Wednesday night during worship at small group, I had a very emotional time with God about this very thing. He revealed to me that I'm a lot more scared then I'm leading on. Before I found out I was pregnant it was our prayer week for Homestead and Tim text me with this verse "Don't yield to your fear, for The Lord has found delight in you and has chosen to surprise you with a wonderful gift." God reminded me yet again about that promise. Even though we still don't understand why this all happened, I know that God has and will continue to fulfill his promises, and specifically when he promised The Felkers that "everything will be ok". Anyone who enters their home is blessed, so what a blessing for these babies that will be able to be a part of the family.
Beautifully written as always big sis. Love you. T
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